I know we all know the say "when one door closes another opens" but I do not entirely agree with this. I do believe that in life we are constantly changing with the jobs we take, people we meet, and relationships we make. When one door closes a window cracks open. It is our responsibility to notice the draft and welcome the breeze. As we continue to open each window, life happens.
My life happens to be moving backwards. The world is moving backwards. My world is moving backwards. The biggest door I have ever seen in my life creaked open and I could smell it; I could hear hear and feel it. For the better part of my life I would have run from this but this time I looked at the door and barged through. What I saw and experienced was amazing and magical. Words cannot express it. He was amazing and exactly what I needed at that moment. As quickly as this door emerged and open, it shut. I am ok with this. In fact I am better than ok, I am honored. I take so much from this experience that my life will never be the same. The friends I make and the men I love from now on will get to experience a Lindsay most have never met.
Of course at a time I wished this door was my final path but I think I knew it was not meant to be. This is where I needed my window to relieve me from the constant heat. I began to open it slightly more and more each day. I did not know, nor do I know now what this means. I do know that my life is moving backwards. As I move forward my relationships and experiences circle back to the past.
This is funny to me because as I was reading my horoscope today I was caught off gaurd. Believe. Don't believe, I do not care. This is what I read: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want, and experience is exactly what you got this time. Use it wisely to guide you in a new direction. Call on your well-earned wisdom to figure out a new way of doing something. If you can apply a recent lesson to a new effort, you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams.