Saturday, October 30, 2010

Rules in the City

New York has changed me. I believe in rules, manners, guidelines, and morals to live by.  Of course as individuals we  set most of these for ourselves.  I always liked who I was.  I loved my rules and following them always seemed to work.  I have had  my heart  broken a couple times, a few emotional and physical breakdowns, and several moves, but everyone experiences that, right?  I mean my emotional roller coaster could not be directly attributed to my neurotic way of thinking? 

 There are no rules in this city.  People cross the street without waiting for the walk sign, they drive outside of the intended lanes, strangers shout on the street and occasional forget to put clothes on in public. New York has taken this rigid rule obsessing individual and forced me to choke on my words.

Of course in dating I have some pretty strict rules.  Every girl has her list of deal breakers and such.   Mine just might be a little longer than most.  Yes, I am 26 and still single while 85% of my friends are either married or in a long term relationship.  Yes, my rules may have something to do with my relationship status but why settle?  Why change what you want just for some awkward company? The answer to this is now more than ever so simple. 

I do not consider myself someone to play it safe but that is exactly what I have been doing.  Throwing out the rules is the first way to leap without a safety net. I have never met anyone worth throwing all the rules away for. Not until now.  Call it karma but every darn rule in my book (silly or semi-important) seems to present itself at this point.  I have two options here. I can walk away and let my fear win or leap. Well the rules can take a hike because I cannot walk away.  He opens my door, he is consistent, he is kind, he is honest, he holds my hand, he is a gentleman, he makes me feel beautiful, he laughs at me, he takes my breath away .  For the first time in my life I do not have to try. So what if his last name is not higher in the alphabet than mine or he is a Yankee fan? 

I cannot predict the future but what I can say is that my life will never be the same.  I now know how it should be. I know that rules are meant to be broken.  Life is constantly taking my plans and shaking them like a soda can about to explode. It is messy, sticky, but oh so fun.  

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